Portland/Seattle in April or May for first time visitors looking for a rockin time? A friend is bringing her neice as a high school graduation present. Would the weather be better in April or May?
Would welcome any ideas on places to stay and places to visit, as I'm the world's worst hostess.
Portland:
Rose Gardens
Japanese Gardens
Arboretum
Multnomah Falls
Silver Falls
Tupid Fields
Shopping in NW Portland
The beach
Portland Zoo
Aquarium
Bonneville Dam
Portland Art Museum
winery tours
Mt. Hood
Mt. Saint Helens
Crater Lake
Seattle:
Seattle Art Museum
Ballard Locks
San Juan Islands
Aquarium
Space Needle
Seattle Center
ferry ride
Any suggestions????
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Midweek update
Had chemo yesterday. Round 12 of 12. But probably starting another round soon. Hoping to have some time off because I am just so burned out on the whole cancer thing. Sick and tired of it. Sick of watching people die. Went to my support group today and we passed a candle for another lady from the group that died Oct. 16th. Her service is Sat.
I don't know what got into me today but I cried like a baby all day. I went to group and just had to work so hard to hold in my tears and then I couldn't stop crying. I was a mess. Dave rearranged his schedule and stayed home to take over the kid responsibilities so I could nap. I needed that. I'm going to blame my fragile emotional state on chemo. I'm just so tired of it all. I really am. I don't want to play this stupid cancer game anymore. I want to go back to being normal. Back to life before cancer. I really do. Sigh.
I did accompany Spencer to his end of season Catlin soccer party. That was fun. Nice to hear the coach talk about the team and the parents talk about the coach. What a great group. Glad I could attend and keep my emotions in check. Feel much better after that.
So sorry to all of my friends that had to listen to my pity party today. I appreciate your friendship and concern and thank you for being patient with me and for being there in both the good and bad times. Wish there were less bad times though. No offense.
Can't wait to ditch Fillup the chemo pump tomorrow. Not sure I'm up for dressing up as Snow White on Friday now. Feeling less than "Fair", certainly not feeling like the "fairest". Although living happily ever after sounds pretty good to me about now.
Big hugs to all. Enjoy your week and all of that Halloween candy! Anyone not wanting their Milky Way or Twix, send them over! They are my favorite!
xxoxoxo
Shauna
I don't know what got into me today but I cried like a baby all day. I went to group and just had to work so hard to hold in my tears and then I couldn't stop crying. I was a mess. Dave rearranged his schedule and stayed home to take over the kid responsibilities so I could nap. I needed that. I'm going to blame my fragile emotional state on chemo. I'm just so tired of it all. I really am. I don't want to play this stupid cancer game anymore. I want to go back to being normal. Back to life before cancer. I really do. Sigh.
I did accompany Spencer to his end of season Catlin soccer party. That was fun. Nice to hear the coach talk about the team and the parents talk about the coach. What a great group. Glad I could attend and keep my emotions in check. Feel much better after that.
So sorry to all of my friends that had to listen to my pity party today. I appreciate your friendship and concern and thank you for being patient with me and for being there in both the good and bad times. Wish there were less bad times though. No offense.
Can't wait to ditch Fillup the chemo pump tomorrow. Not sure I'm up for dressing up as Snow White on Friday now. Feeling less than "Fair", certainly not feeling like the "fairest". Although living happily ever after sounds pretty good to me about now.
Big hugs to all. Enjoy your week and all of that Halloween candy! Anyone not wanting their Milky Way or Twix, send them over! They are my favorite!
xxoxoxo
Shauna
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Chemo, CT Scans and Championships
I ended up rescheduling my chemo for Tuesday so I wouldn't miss Spencer's championship game. Turns out we had to spend our day at the doctors anyways, getting CT Scans. But not for me, for Spencer! He's been complaining about a sore left side. He says it's been hurting since Thursday but he didn't tell me about it until Saturday before his soccer game. Her said it hurt to breath, cough and move. He's been pretty much useless on the field since. Today I got him in to see the doctor at 11:45am. I was planning on him being out of school for an hour tops. Doctor felt his ribs and two were sore and it was sore between and under them. She didn't think he had a fracture, but she was worried about his spleen. She asked what he had going on the rest of the week. He mentioned his championship game tonight. She then said he needed to get an Ultrasound before she could clear him to play. She talked to the radiologist and they decided he didn't need an ultrasound, but he needed a CT Scan! They did a rush referral so they could get him looked at and the scan read by game time. If it was normal, he could play. If not, he would have to sit out. CT scan scheduled for 2pm. He had to drink two 16 oz bottles of Barrium Sulfate prior to the CT Scan at 1pm. Have any of you ever gotten a CT scan? I have. Every 3 months for the last two years in fact. Do you know how hard it is for me to drink that CRAP each time? I'm talking the drink is 500 times worse than the scan itself. And I'm not kidding. Can you now imagine my 13 year old son drinking two bottles of that CRAP in an hour? Do you know how skinny my son is? He has no room in the stomach for even one bottle. No kidding. It was pure torture for not only him, but for me to watch (and poor Paris too since she met us for coffee before the scan). I didn't think he was going to make it. Or that it was going to stay in his stomach for the scan. Plus he hadn't eaten since breakfast. I think he will have a new appreciation for what I now go through every 3 months.
The scan went well. I wasn't allowed to go back there with him and had to wait in the waiting room. That was hard for me. The tech came out and told me he did fine and even giggled because the contrast dye they inject into his IV made his bum warm and tingly. She thought he was so cute. :) That's my boy. LOL I then took him to get a couple bagels before his 415pm game and not long after the scan we got the all clear. No broken ribs or ruptured spleen. He was good to go. So dropped him off at school just as the school day was ending. He started the game but didn't last but a few minutes and was taken out because he said he felt like he was going to throw up. So much stuff sloshing around in his gut. He said he thought he was a liability so he opted not to play. I think the time he was in, he did great. I was sorry to spend all of that time, energy (and probably money!) at the docs, etc. making sure he could play and then not seeing him play. Especially since he had quite the crowd cheering him on. (thanks for coming out to see the game Grannie Seattle, Grampa and Ginger, not to mention all of the Catlin students!).
It was a great game. They went all out. It was a real battle. It ended in a tie, 1-1. They were going to crown the two teams "Co-Champions" but the coaches met with the ref and athletic director and they decided to play two five minute OT periods. After the end of those, they would be co-champs if no clear winner. After the first OT, it was still tied. With a minute to go in the 2nd, OES scored a goal and won the championship. It was an aggressive game with several yellow cards awarded to players and even one OES kid getting ejected for taking his shirt off after scoring that second goal! Guess that's not allowed! Spencer was bummed they lost and that he didn't contribute. I was bummed he went through all of that today and for nothing really. :( He still didn't get to play because of the side effects from the scanning process. Oh well, it was a great season. So much fun to watch the games and the team work together. And to connect with the other parents. And most of all, to see Spencer gain his confidence and passion for the game back!
Now tomorrow I have to get chemo, which means I'll have stupid Fillup the chemo pump until Thursday afternoon instead of breaking up with him on Wednesday like I usually do. :(
A couple cool opportunities for me:
1. The Writing Workshop I'm in is being filmed. Someone is making a documentary about it and they asked if they could follow me outside of class. Now that's reality tv!
2. I've been asked for a third time to be a patient teacher for the OHSU Living With Life Threatening Disease course for first year medical students. No one has ever been asked back twice, let alone three times, so I feel special! :) It's been such a great experience for both myself and my students and it's been a great way for me to give back to the community. Creating better doctors with understanding of what patients (and their families) go through during the course of their illness. Not just medically, but emotionally, financially, etc. All aspects. First hand. They will have more compassion and a better bedside manner because of this class! During the course of the class, I will be paired up with one student and will meet them on a weekly basis for 8 weeks I think. Last time I was randomly paired up with a woman who had lost her mother to cancer when she was ten. So it was very healing and beneficial for both of us, to understand and experience the other perspectives. It was amazing. I love doing it and am so honored they asked me.
Thanks for listening to me ramble!
Enjoy the rest of your week!
xoxox
Shauna
The scan went well. I wasn't allowed to go back there with him and had to wait in the waiting room. That was hard for me. The tech came out and told me he did fine and even giggled because the contrast dye they inject into his IV made his bum warm and tingly. She thought he was so cute. :) That's my boy. LOL I then took him to get a couple bagels before his 415pm game and not long after the scan we got the all clear. No broken ribs or ruptured spleen. He was good to go. So dropped him off at school just as the school day was ending. He started the game but didn't last but a few minutes and was taken out because he said he felt like he was going to throw up. So much stuff sloshing around in his gut. He said he thought he was a liability so he opted not to play. I think the time he was in, he did great. I was sorry to spend all of that time, energy (and probably money!) at the docs, etc. making sure he could play and then not seeing him play. Especially since he had quite the crowd cheering him on. (thanks for coming out to see the game Grannie Seattle, Grampa and Ginger, not to mention all of the Catlin students!).
It was a great game. They went all out. It was a real battle. It ended in a tie, 1-1. They were going to crown the two teams "Co-Champions" but the coaches met with the ref and athletic director and they decided to play two five minute OT periods. After the end of those, they would be co-champs if no clear winner. After the first OT, it was still tied. With a minute to go in the 2nd, OES scored a goal and won the championship. It was an aggressive game with several yellow cards awarded to players and even one OES kid getting ejected for taking his shirt off after scoring that second goal! Guess that's not allowed! Spencer was bummed they lost and that he didn't contribute. I was bummed he went through all of that today and for nothing really. :( He still didn't get to play because of the side effects from the scanning process. Oh well, it was a great season. So much fun to watch the games and the team work together. And to connect with the other parents. And most of all, to see Spencer gain his confidence and passion for the game back!
Now tomorrow I have to get chemo, which means I'll have stupid Fillup the chemo pump until Thursday afternoon instead of breaking up with him on Wednesday like I usually do. :(A couple cool opportunities for me:
1. The Writing Workshop I'm in is being filmed. Someone is making a documentary about it and they asked if they could follow me outside of class. Now that's reality tv!
2. I've been asked for a third time to be a patient teacher for the OHSU Living With Life Threatening Disease course for first year medical students. No one has ever been asked back twice, let alone three times, so I feel special! :) It's been such a great experience for both myself and my students and it's been a great way for me to give back to the community. Creating better doctors with understanding of what patients (and their families) go through during the course of their illness. Not just medically, but emotionally, financially, etc. All aspects. First hand. They will have more compassion and a better bedside manner because of this class! During the course of the class, I will be paired up with one student and will meet them on a weekly basis for 8 weeks I think. Last time I was randomly paired up with a woman who had lost her mother to cancer when she was ten. So it was very healing and beneficial for both of us, to understand and experience the other perspectives. It was amazing. I love doing it and am so honored they asked me.
Thanks for listening to me ramble!
Enjoy the rest of your week!
xoxox
Shauna
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Pumpkins, Puppies, Piggies and Prose
Gorgeous Pacific NW day today! It was 71 degrees when we hit Lee Farms Pumpkin Patch around 3:30 pm. What a fun place full of animals, food and fun! Kaelin had to show off her muscles as she picked out a huge pumpkin, almost too big for her to carry.
Spencer used Simba to "sniff out" his pumpkin...
I went for the unusal ghost pumpkin and Kaelin captured a great photo of me! She's turning out to be quite the photog!
The whole reason Spencer wanted to go to this pumpkin patch (we've never been to this one before) was because he heard from a friend that there were labradore puppies there, and boy were there! A litter of 11 little Marley's!!! I didn't think Spencer would EVER stop begging me for one. Sorry son, don't have $650.00 extra dollars hanging around. Or like I overheard one dad tell his kid "They aren't for sale." That works until they can read themselves! LOL
There were also goats in a petting area, llamas, ponies, chickens and piggies!!!!
We had a fabulous time! I love fall. I just want to make a big pile of fall leaves from our front yard and jump in them! Maybe we'll do that tomorrow before chemo since Kaelin is off of school.
Problem with chemo...it's scheduled for 1:30pm tomorrow and usually will take all day til close, about 5pm. But Spencer's championship game is at 4:15pm at Catlin, so I might call and see if I can get in earlier or skip it all together! Doesn't that sound like a good choice? Who needs round 12 of 12 anyways???? sigh. Stupid Fillup the pump will have to go cheer him on too. And of course, it's Halloween week. And I'm going to miss the annual Catlin Gabel Rummage Sale at the Expo center this weekend because my immune system will be wiped out and I can't be around all of those people. Sucks to be me once again!
I'll leave you all with some writings from the last few weeks:
10/17 prompts for 5 minute write:
1. Find last line of previous writings and use that as your prompt.
2. In my dream...
Here is a list of last lines from my writings:
by Shauna Berglund Immel
I want to leave a lasting impression
but I am afraid it will be like footprints in the sand,
which will be washed away with the tide.
Or like a favorite pair of jeans,
which will fade with time.
I hope that what I've left my children is
a lasting impression on their hearts,
which will never fade.
prompts:
1. I grew up believing...
2. A major wake up call...
Chasing Rainbows (a work in progress)
by Shauna Berglund Immel
I believe in the miracle of life.
I believe in rainbows.
We all love rainbows.
Which come out with the sun after a downpour.
We love to look at them.
To chase them.
To find the rainbows end.
But we never get there.
It's not about the pot of gold itself.
It's about the beauty to behold.
The journey and scenery along the way.
It's about appreciating life.
The miracle of life.
Find your rainbow
and chase it.
10/24 prompts:
1. Courage is...
2. The most beautiful place I've ever seen...
I got to class late and missed the time to journal about these prompts. Hope to do that later.
10 minute write
1. Write about an ordinary, everyday activity
2. Capture a moment.
Stuck in a Moment
by Shauna Berglund Immel
When you hear the words
"You have cancer,"
The world stops spinning
for a moment.
You can't breath.
Think.
See.
Hear.
Feel.
You are numb.
Overcome by thoughts of doubt.
Death.
Fear.
Your heart starts beating at a high rate.
Your body slowly begins to
shake and tremble
as it builds up momemtum
until you lose control
and collapse in a heap on the ground.
Unconsolable.
You feel an unimaginable pain.
So deep in your heart and soul.
A place that has never been touched.
Raw and fragile
A place you never want to visit again.
You wait for that moment to pass.
So you can breath again.
For the pain to subside.
But that moment isn't fleeting.
Time has stopped.
And that place that you didn't want to visit
now becomes your home.
We were given a variety of photographs to choose from. I chose a black and white one of a woman standing and all you can see are here legs and feet and she's casting a shadow. Her young daughter is crouched down examining the woman's shadow with curiosity.
We were asked to think up a list of possible titles.
The Warmth of Her Shadow (a work in progress)
by Shauna Berglund Immel
It feels warm here.
Safe in the shadows.
My mother's shadow.
In the shadows of my mind.
It's all that is left of her.
She's but a shadow watching over me.
A ghost of herself keeping watch.
Protecting me with her presence.
In my mind.
Her shadow towers over me.
Like a sentry on guard.
She shades me from the harsh sun.
I dance with her in my mind.
A shadow dance.
She holds me in her warmth.
The warmth of her shadow lingers.
Long after she is gone.
Thanks for reading.
Have a great week full of fun and laughter!
Make it count!
xoxox
Shauna
Spencer used Simba to "sniff out" his pumpkin...
I went for the unusal ghost pumpkin and Kaelin captured a great photo of me! She's turning out to be quite the photog!
The whole reason Spencer wanted to go to this pumpkin patch (we've never been to this one before) was because he heard from a friend that there were labradore puppies there, and boy were there! A litter of 11 little Marley's!!! I didn't think Spencer would EVER stop begging me for one. Sorry son, don't have $650.00 extra dollars hanging around. Or like I overheard one dad tell his kid "They aren't for sale." That works until they can read themselves! LOL
There were also goats in a petting area, llamas, ponies, chickens and piggies!!!!
We had a fabulous time! I love fall. I just want to make a big pile of fall leaves from our front yard and jump in them! Maybe we'll do that tomorrow before chemo since Kaelin is off of school.Problem with chemo...it's scheduled for 1:30pm tomorrow and usually will take all day til close, about 5pm. But Spencer's championship game is at 4:15pm at Catlin, so I might call and see if I can get in earlier or skip it all together! Doesn't that sound like a good choice? Who needs round 12 of 12 anyways???? sigh. Stupid Fillup the pump will have to go cheer him on too. And of course, it's Halloween week. And I'm going to miss the annual Catlin Gabel Rummage Sale at the Expo center this weekend because my immune system will be wiped out and I can't be around all of those people. Sucks to be me once again!
I'll leave you all with some writings from the last few weeks:
10/17 prompts for 5 minute write:
1. Find last line of previous writings and use that as your prompt.
2. In my dream...
Here is a list of last lines from my writings:
- Living life to the fullest
- Leave a lasting impression
- Hang on for your life
- Bring comfort and joy
- Lay down next to fear, who often stays all night
- Like two birds of a feather
- Do some sightseeing along the way
- Taking over like the cancer that he is
- It's my favorite too
- a purple crayon
by Shauna Berglund Immel
I want to leave a lasting impression
but I am afraid it will be like footprints in the sand,
which will be washed away with the tide.
Or like a favorite pair of jeans,
which will fade with time.
I hope that what I've left my children is
a lasting impression on their hearts,
which will never fade.
prompts:
1. I grew up believing...
2. A major wake up call...
Chasing Rainbows (a work in progress)
by Shauna Berglund Immel
I believe in the miracle of life.
I believe in rainbows.
We all love rainbows.
Which come out with the sun after a downpour.
We love to look at them.
To chase them.
To find the rainbows end.
But we never get there.
It's not about the pot of gold itself.
It's about the beauty to behold.
The journey and scenery along the way.
It's about appreciating life.
The miracle of life.
Find your rainbow
and chase it.
10/24 prompts:
1. Courage is...
2. The most beautiful place I've ever seen...
I got to class late and missed the time to journal about these prompts. Hope to do that later.
10 minute write
1. Write about an ordinary, everyday activity
2. Capture a moment.
Stuck in a Moment
by Shauna Berglund Immel
When you hear the words
"You have cancer,"
The world stops spinning
for a moment.
You can't breath.
Think.
See.
Hear.
Feel.
You are numb.
Overcome by thoughts of doubt.
Death.
Fear.
Your heart starts beating at a high rate.
Your body slowly begins to
shake and tremble
as it builds up momemtum
until you lose control
and collapse in a heap on the ground.
Unconsolable.
You feel an unimaginable pain.
So deep in your heart and soul.
A place that has never been touched.
Raw and fragile
A place you never want to visit again.
You wait for that moment to pass.
So you can breath again.
For the pain to subside.
But that moment isn't fleeting.
Time has stopped.
And that place that you didn't want to visit
now becomes your home.
We were given a variety of photographs to choose from. I chose a black and white one of a woman standing and all you can see are here legs and feet and she's casting a shadow. Her young daughter is crouched down examining the woman's shadow with curiosity.
We were asked to think up a list of possible titles.
- In My Mother's Shadow
- Shadow Dance
- Me and My Shadow
- In the Shadows
- A Shadow of a Doubt
- Big Shoes to Fill
- My Mother's Shadow
- Coming Out from Her Shadow
- In the Shadows of My Mind
- Shadow Puppets
- Safe in the Shadows
- Paper Dolls
- Cut Outs
- Cookie Cutters
- Shadow Dancing
- Stepping Into the Shadows
The Warmth of Her Shadow (a work in progress)
by Shauna Berglund Immel
It feels warm here.
Safe in the shadows.
My mother's shadow.
In the shadows of my mind.
It's all that is left of her.
She's but a shadow watching over me.
A ghost of herself keeping watch.
Protecting me with her presence.
In my mind.
Her shadow towers over me.
Like a sentry on guard.
She shades me from the harsh sun.
I dance with her in my mind.
A shadow dance.
She holds me in her warmth.
The warmth of her shadow lingers.
Long after she is gone.
Thanks for reading.
Have a great week full of fun and laughter!
Make it count!
xoxox
Shauna
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Who is the Fairest One of All?
Photos from our Halloween party last night...
Spencer as bored, moody teenager...
Dave as Indiana Jones....
Kaelin as a soldier from the Xbox video game "Halo"...
Spencer as bored, moody teenager... Dave as Indiana Jones....or me as an XL Snow White? (pretty good photo considering it was taken from my cell phone by myself!)
Soccer update:
Kaelin's Red Magic team won today 5-0.
Spencer's Modoc team tied 2-2 and lost 2-1.
Catlin Gabel Boys 8th Grade team plays in the championship game vs OES, 4:15pm Monday @ Catlin Gabel! Come cheer them on!!!!
On the agenda for the rest of the day:
Spencer getting a haircut (he's a helmet head!)
Kaelin going to a Haunted Walk with classmates
Spencer going to rehearsal for a haunted house production at a classmates house
Nothing scheduled for Sunday! Woo Hoo! I'll have to get my house and life in order before going down for chemo on Monday. :(
Enjoy your weekend!
xoxo
Shauna
Friday, October 24, 2008
Flashback Friday
Halloween 2007
Me as a piece of pink bubblegum that someone stepped in (recycled idea from my best bud Joni at UCLA)
Kaelin as Bobofet from Star Wars. I think 2 or 3 other BOYS in her class were the same...
Simba as Yoda from Star Wars...
And Spencer as a bunch of purple grapes. Look at how much he's grown/changed since last year! Wow, he looks so young and little!!!
Off to see my fairy godmother who is to transform me into a beautiful princess! ;)
TGIF!
xoxox
Shauna
ps. Spencer's parent/teacher conference went so well! So much better than expected! They all raved about him and his abilities and personality etc. and that he's a much different person than 6th and 7th grade. He's engaged. Happy. Organized. :) I can't tell you how happy that made my heart! We've had a rough two years and Spencer really took it all to heart, losing his passion for things and withdrawing into himself. I'm so proud of him! And so relieved. He's on top of things. Are we talking about my child???? :) When asked what his goal was for this year he said "to go to Japan." And what he was looking forward to or wishing for: "Barack Obama being President!" lol I can breath again. Whew. Wasn't sure if I was going to blindsided since I hadn't heard anything lately. :)
Me as a piece of pink bubblegum that someone stepped in (recycled idea from my best bud Joni at UCLA)
Kaelin as Bobofet from Star Wars. I think 2 or 3 other BOYS in her class were the same...
Simba as Yoda from Star Wars...
And Spencer as a bunch of purple grapes. Look at how much he's grown/changed since last year! Wow, he looks so young and little!!!
Off to see my fairy godmother who is to transform me into a beautiful princess! ;)TGIF!
xoxox
Shauna
ps. Spencer's parent/teacher conference went so well! So much better than expected! They all raved about him and his abilities and personality etc. and that he's a much different person than 6th and 7th grade. He's engaged. Happy. Organized. :) I can't tell you how happy that made my heart! We've had a rough two years and Spencer really took it all to heart, losing his passion for things and withdrawing into himself. I'm so proud of him! And so relieved. He's on top of things. Are we talking about my child???? :) When asked what his goal was for this year he said "to go to Japan." And what he was looking forward to or wishing for: "Barack Obama being President!" lol I can breath again. Whew. Wasn't sure if I was going to blindsided since I hadn't heard anything lately. :)
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Go Blue!!!!
Catlin Gabel boys 8th Grade team won tonight, 7-0 in the semi final game! They play the winner of the OES/Meadowglade team on Monday @ 415pm (maybe Tues?). Woo Hoo! The boys played GR8! All of them! Spencer had some great footwork and set up a goal in the first half with a big kick from midfield. What a fun game to watch and cheer for! Go Catlin! Woo Woo Woo!!!! ;)
Was supposed to stay home today and get caught up on laundry, groceries, housework and paperwork but got invited to lunch, so ran off to have lunch with Laura and Sherry @ Bushwhackers! Great burgers and fries! Looks like a fun country western bar and grill.
Tomorrow is my writing group, Spencer's conference (he's off school), providing food for and cleaning up for the Middle School teacher's luncheon, and then a huge Halloween party tomorrow night! My big black platform shoes for my Snow White costume arrived today! I"m finally going to be tall! :) I'm going to look like a fat Snow White, but what can I do??? The more of me to love!!! DAve's going to be Indiana Jones, Spencer Dipsy the lime green Teletubby and Kaelin a soldier from Halo. LOL Photos to follow for sure! Brace yourselves!!! Me in my costume will be the SCARIEST!!!! Followed by Spencer....
Hope you all enjoy your Friday!!!
xoxox
Shauna
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