Had chemo yesterday. Round 12 of 12. But probably starting another round soon. Hoping to have some time off because I am just so burned out on the whole cancer thing. Sick and tired of it. Sick of watching people die. Went to my support group today and we passed a candle for another lady from the group that died Oct. 16th. Her service is Sat.
I don't know what got into me today but I cried like a baby all day. I went to group and just had to work so hard to hold in my tears and then I couldn't stop crying. I was a mess. Dave rearranged his schedule and stayed home to take over the kid responsibilities so I could nap. I needed that. I'm going to blame my fragile emotional state on chemo. I'm just so tired of it all. I really am. I don't want to play this stupid cancer game anymore. I want to go back to being normal. Back to life before cancer. I really do. Sigh.
I did accompany Spencer to his end of season Catlin soccer party. That was fun. Nice to hear the coach talk about the team and the parents talk about the coach. What a great group. Glad I could attend and keep my emotions in check. Feel much better after that.
So sorry to all of my friends that had to listen to my pity party today. I appreciate your friendship and concern and thank you for being patient with me and for being there in both the good and bad times. Wish there were less bad times though. No offense.
Can't wait to ditch Fillup the chemo pump tomorrow. Not sure I'm up for dressing up as Snow White on Friday now. Feeling less than "Fair", certainly not feeling like the "fairest". Although living happily ever after sounds pretty good to me about now.
Big hugs to all. Enjoy your week and all of that Halloween candy! Anyone not wanting their Milky Way or Twix, send them over! They are my favorite!