Kaelin got her hand stepped on playing goalie at recess on Monday. It was all swollen and black and blue and was the hand she broke last winter, so we went and got it X-rayed today. The doc didn't think it was broken but said she wasn't a hand specialist, so she'd have someone else look at it and get back to us. I'm thinking it's ok. Hoping so anyways.
Chemo Monday drug on forever and ever. I had an 11:30am appt. with the doc, but got in to see her late as they were behind schedule. Which put chemo behind schedule. I was there from 11:15-5:15pm. Sigh. The doctor said this was 11/12 rounds for this cycle, but that she didn't want to give me a break because of what happened last time they did that - my numbers went up and the cancer came back. So she said we could keep going with what we were doing (and going more than 12 rounds) or we could switch to something else, maybe an oral chemo in the form of pills (different side effects). Not what I wanted to hear. One of my blood tests came back high, my liver something or other. She's a bit concerned about that and wants me to go in on Monday and retest. If it's still high, she thinks we should do another US as she's still concerned about my gall bladder. After round 12, I will get another CT scan to see where I stand. I am SO !@#$%^&*()_+ sick of chemo, ct scans and blood tests! I want to feel and be normal again!!!! ARgh!!!! Not sure how long I can keep this song and dance up. It is SO FLIPPIN OLD I TELL YA! Was so glad to get unhooked from my pump yesterday and shower and move around and sleep freely without a stupid leash. Grrrr...sour grapes!
Monday I was so excited to use my 20% off coupon at REI and buy a warm, fuzzy, cozy, waterproof pair of Sorrell boots to keep my toesies warm during outdoor soccer season!!!! :)
I have a confession to make. I've missed my Support Group meetings (every Wed 11-1230pm) for the last several months. Ever since Betsy and Etta died. I can't bring myself to go. And I love my support groups. I wouldn't miss it for the world before. I just am not strong enough emotionally to handle sitting in there right now. It breaks my heart. I've also been so tired and not able to get up and get there on time. Plus, I've been hooked up to stupid Fillup the chemo pump. Really messes with a girls social schedule ya know?
What else? Spencer went to a sleepover last weekend so DAve, Kaelin and I went and saw the movie, "The City of Ember". It was too dark and depressing for me. Haven't been seeing a lot of movies lately. Costs a fortune! Geez. Lots of good ones coming out in November though!
Haven't been watching much TV lately either. Or reading. Not sure what I've been doing really except running around back and forth from practices and games etc. Doing a lot of laundry with uniforms. Seems these chemo weeks every other week are really making my housekeeping, paperwork, grocery shopping, domestic stuff challenging! I am getting farther and farther behind. Can't ever catch up. I seem to have less and less energy as the weeks go by too. Last cycle, I only made it thru 11 rounds. But that was with the nasty Oxcilliplatin that they had to nix because I developed an adverse reaction to it. Anyways, I am tired, old and fat. This darn cancer makes me feel/look/seem like I'm 40 years older than I am. It's like I'm an 80 yr old woman most of the time! For proof, next time you see me, check out my curly locks. It's like I have an old lady curly perm. :( Sigh. What is a girl to do????? I'll probably just lose it again anyways, so that will solve that.
Ok, this turned into a pity post. Sorry. :(
Tomorrow Spencer is off school again. We need to go get his passport for his Japan trip in March and then I have my writing group, which I am so looking forward to and missed last week cuz I had to take a mini vacation! Spencer also plays cross town rival OES in soccer. Excited for that. He's doing great and having a fab season in Catlin soccer!
Ok, off I go to nap before we head out to gym etc.
Have a great weekend! Make it count!!
xoxox
Shauna
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5 comments:
You can have a pity post anytime. You vent. Go for it. That's what we are here for :) We love you no matter what. BTW, I think you look fabulous! Seriously. I love your curly hair... not old-ladyish at all! Very stylish! And I am a fan of salt & pepper hair. Have you seen my dh? He is HOT. And so are you! Smokin' hot!
I had the best time with you today. So good to escape the zillions of things I had to do here at home! It had been way too long since we could do that. Hope that we can walk next week!
Hope K's hand heals quickly. How exciting for S to get his passport! Spring and that trip will be here before we know it! I hope you can go too... are you getting your passport too? You should totally do that!!
Lots of loves to you, p
Hi Shauna:
We got home late yesterday and I was anxious to check your blog. I haven't had time to read all the entries that I missed while we were away, but I will. But I just read your recent one and I want you to know that I think of you often and miss seeing you. I missed group last week and will next week also. I, too, am thinking about not going often. I will write you a separate email later when I have time. (I am busy putting away all our hunting stuff.) I will write about our trip on my blog when I have time.
Hang in there, sweet thing. There are so many people beside you during your cancer journey. You are so loved and I am so lucky to have you as a friend.
I hope we can get together sometime soon.
Love you,
JO
I'm sorry your not feeling up to par!You can vent anytime you want!I would hate to think you were holding all that stuff in. Thats not good.
I havent seen you in person,but in pictures, you look great!Good luck to Spencer at his soccer game! Hope they win! Have a great weekend!
hugs
jean
I think your curly hair is so cute! It's very young and girly. I know you are tired and stressed, and yeah - that does make you feel old sometimes. But you are looking pretty good to me!
Glad you had a great day today. It was like summer! I had all my windows open.
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