CA125, CT Scan, Conferences and Chatter

from my oncologist:

Hi, the CA 125 was 45, compared to 37 previously, so this very slight change is unlikely to be significant.

Let's see what the CT scan shows.

I'm a little worried about this to be honest. Normal is 35 or less. I've had a steady decrease for quite awhile now. Now it's a slight but steady increase the last 2 months. And I have a bad feeling. I just don't feel right. I've put on more weight, and that has always seemed to parrallel my cancer. Sigh. Loving my week off but have a sinking suspicion that it will be short lived. :(

As for my CT scan, they failed to call me and schedule, so I took it upon myself to call today. They fit me in on Tuesday at 10:20am. I have to fast 3 hours prior, and drink Barium at 8:20am and 9:20am. Did I mention how much I hate drinking the Barium? It's far worse than the scan itself. Ugh! And did any of you see the article in the Oregonian about CT Scans and how too many too often increase your risk of cancer? What is a girl to do when she already has cancer and has to get CT Scans every 6 weeks to 3 months? Doesn't make much sense to me. :(

On a brighter note, we had Kaelin's school conference today and it went smashingly! She's 9 yrs old and in 4th grade and is excelling both physically and academically. She's a very strong student, especially in math and is reading at a 7th grade level, which for her is huge since she hates to read! She can't sit still long enough to read! LOL One of her strengths is her close, positive relationships with boys and one of her areas to improve on is making and establishing a close girlfriend. That's something I've worried about for her as they get older and the boys and girls draw lines in the sand. I'm afraid she will be excluded from the boys at one point and then not fit in with the girls because she's always hung out with the guys. She just relates better to them and enjoys their activities and interests more. But I think she is well respected and liked and accepted for how she is, just the way she is. So I think she'll be fine. I hope and pray that I will be around for a long time to see her grow and blossom and discover things on her way to becoming a teen and a woman. I've got to get this cancer under control and be here for her and for me. She needs me. Sigh. Scary.

I've been asked to do a reading tonight for Write Around Portland. I think I'll do the piece from the first anthology I was published in, titled "In the Valley of the Shadow of Death" and then a dialog piece they chose for the anthology coming out Dec. 17th, titled "Tell Me A Story." It seems appropriate after my last paragraph.

Tomorrow is my last Writing Workshop and we're having a potluck. Not sure what to bring yet. I made chicken enchiladas in white sauce for the teacher luncheon at school tomorrow. Kaelin has the next two days off. I may drive up to Seattle and go to the Scrapbook Expo spur of the moment. Kaelin has gymnastics tonight and tomorrow night and starts indoor soccer on Saturday and Spencer has his Grandparent's Day at school tomorow. Crazy life as usual!

But I love to get in as much living as I can, while I still can. They can all rest and be couch potatoes after I am gone. (They better not be and I'm counting on all of you out there to make sure of it!!! Be my eyes and ears *and heart* when I'm gone!

Thanks for all of the support and for keeping up on my crazy cancer life via my blog. You guys rock!

xoxox
Shauna