I had chemo scheduled for immediately after my doctor's appt. today. But I wasn't sure if I'd have to do it or not, since I just finished 12/12 rounds of the folfox, minus the oxcilliplatin (which I had built up a intolerance to) the week of Halloween.
I've been doing chemo since last November. That's a whole year of it. And prior to that, I'd had several months off after major surgery and 11/12 rounds of the folfox, full strength. That's every other week chemo. One week on. One week off. One week on, etc. A very tough schedule to keep up. With some serious side effects. NOt to mention how far behind in life I am. I can't keep up with anything!
Read here for a recap of my cancer journey so far.
Anyways, after this last round of chemo, I was spent. Emotionally, mentally and physically. I dreaded going in today, dreading having to do it again. Sooo not looking forward to being hooked up to "Fillup" the stupid chemo pump for 3 days. I just need a breather to regroup, enjoy my life/family/friends and get strong again. Mentally, physically and emotionally. So we talked and she agreed, that we need a balance between the cancer fight and my quality of life. So she agreed to give me this week off (YAHOO!) and then we're scheduling a CT Scan and waiting on my latest CA125 results before we plan our next attack.
Depending on the CT and CA125 results, I could have 1-2 months off, with a CT scan again at 6 weeks and monthly CA125 tests and port flushes. After that, we discussed me going on an oral chemo, Zolota (5FU, the drug in the pump, via pill form). It would be a daily pill every day for 2 weeks, one week off and repeat. Pretty much the same side effects except the mouth sores and hands/feet symptoms seem to be worse with the pill form. I'm NOT a good pill taker. But it would beat going in and infusing for several hours and then going home hooked up to a pump for 3 days. I would feel iffy one week, really feel the effects the 2nd week and recover the 3rd week.
Anyways, I am in such a good mood today thinking that it's possible I will have the holidays off!!!! And I still have hair this winter, unlike last! But I hate to get my hopes up. It happens every time. I get my hopes up and WHAM BAM they are smashed and I get bad news and am so disappointed. So I hate to get excited and hope. It's better to be indifferent and not expect/hope for the best.
So thank you to all of you who have been praying and thinking of me. It is so much appreciated!!! And thank you to all of you who do such nice things for my family and I! I can't thank you all enough. I am so blessed to have you all in my corner.
I will try and post my recent writings and weekend wrap up in the next few days!
Big hugs going out to all!!!!
xoxox
Shauna
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7 comments:
So thrilled that you finally get a break!! Much deserved! It warmed my heart to hear the excitement and relief in your voice and text today. Just what you needed! I hope all of the tests come back A-OK! Hoping for normal in all aspects of your life, my friend. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. Just know that good things are coming your way. Can't wait to read more of your writings. Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. Love you, p
I'm so happy that you'll get a break from the chemo. I'm hoping and praying that your #'s come back great and you can really enjoy the holidays with your family and friends!Hang in there!!!
Sending you hugs!!
Jean
Oh Shauna, do keep your hopes up! Your positive mental attitude will help you beat this nasty beast. I know it's been a long journey dear friend but you strong and a fighter and that's the only way to squash the C monster.
I'm soooo excited you are getting a break from the chemo. I've been praying so hard for you and hoping there would be a break.
Would love to get together if your schedule allows. I'm HEALTHY!!! Talk about prayers. I prayed so hard Thurs night that I would be cold free Fri am so I could go be with my MIL and Scott's family. I woke perfectly healthy, took a long dog walk and shower and still felt the same so we went to see CC. She looks wonderful though misses her hair. We think they will start radiation in a week or two which will hit her bd, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years, lucky her...NOT.
Love you dearly!
Jaci
Hi Shauna:
I've been anxious to hear what you found out from Dr. Lycette. I am glad that you got to skip chemo this week and I hope your CT scan and CA125 tests will be great. I would love to see you have the holidays off from chemo. The oral chemo sounds so much easier so I hope that will also work out for you when the time comes for you to resume your chemo.
I hope to see you at group tomorrow. I love it when you are there!
Love ya, JO
You go, girl! Glad you're feeling good and getting a break. Enjoy it, my friend :)
A break will be good. I'm glad that you will finally get one. We will just agree with you in prayer that you will get a nice lengthy break and that the news will be GOOD.
hugs, Marlo
Shauna, So glad you will be getting a break. It is much deserved my friend! I'm thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers. Sending hugs,
Heather
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