I had chemo scheduled for immediately after my doctor's appt. today. But I wasn't sure if I'd have to do it or not, since I just finished 12/12 rounds of the folfox, minus the oxcilliplatin (which I had built up a intolerance to) the week of Halloween.
I've been doing chemo since last November. That's a whole year of it. And prior to that, I'd had several months off after major surgery and 11/12 rounds of the folfox, full strength. That's every other week chemo. One week on. One week off. One week on, etc. A very tough schedule to keep up. With some serious side effects. NOt to mention how far behind in life I am. I can't keep up with anything!
Read here for a recap of my cancer journey so far.
Anyways, after this last round of chemo, I was spent. Emotionally, mentally and physically. I dreaded going in today, dreading having to do it again. Sooo not looking forward to being hooked up to "Fillup" the stupid chemo pump for 3 days. I just need a breather to regroup, enjoy my life/family/friends and get strong again. Mentally, physically and emotionally. So we talked and she agreed, that we need a balance between the cancer fight and my quality of life. So she agreed to give me this week off (YAHOO!) and then we're scheduling a CT Scan and waiting on my latest CA125 results before we plan our next attack.
Depending on the CT and CA125 results, I could have 1-2 months off, with a CT scan again at 6 weeks and monthly CA125 tests and port flushes. After that, we discussed me going on an oral chemo, Zolota (5FU, the drug in the pump, via pill form). It would be a daily pill every day for 2 weeks, one week off and repeat. Pretty much the same side effects except the mouth sores and hands/feet symptoms seem to be worse with the pill form. I'm NOT a good pill taker. But it would beat going in and infusing for several hours and then going home hooked up to a pump for 3 days. I would feel iffy one week, really feel the effects the 2nd week and recover the 3rd week.
Anyways, I am in such a good mood today thinking that it's possible I will have the holidays off!!!! And I still have hair this winter, unlike last! But I hate to get my hopes up. It happens every time. I get my hopes up and WHAM BAM they are smashed and I get bad news and am so disappointed. So I hate to get excited and hope. It's better to be indifferent and not expect/hope for the best.
So thank you to all of you who have been praying and thinking of me. It is so much appreciated!!! And thank you to all of you who do such nice things for my family and I! I can't thank you all enough. I am so blessed to have you all in my corner.
I will try and post my recent writings and weekend wrap up in the next few days!
Big hugs going out to all!!!!