Saturday, November 29, 2008

Sharing Writing

Here are some writings in progress from several weeks of Write Around Portland workshops with the Quest group of women (cancer survivors, chemical dependencies, mental illness, HIV) and also, some writings from the workshop held at Hot Lips Pizza once a month, every 3rd Thursday of the month (next one is Thurs. Dec. 18th 9-11am).

11/14 prompts:
1. Someday I will...
2. The next time I see you...

Will it Be Enough? (totally a work in progress...)
by Shauna Berglund Immel

What if tomorrow never came? What if today was your last? What if it was your last Christmas? The last time I see you. The last time I touch you. The last time I kiss you. Will the next time I see you be the last time?

What if there was no tomorrow? How would you want to remember the last time you saw me?

The next time may be the last time. Will it be good enough? Long enough? Will it live up to my expectations? Will it be memorable?

I will embrace you a little longer. A little tighter. I will tell you how I feel, without holding back or leaving anything out. I will live like there is no tomorrow. I will make sure you know that I love you and am grateful for you in my life and that I am thankful that I got to walk in this world with you by my side.

I can't wait for tomorrow.

The next prompt was to write something you learned about your self, your writing and/or your community...

I learned that I love to write. That I love to share my writing. That I need to write. It's part of who I am. It gives me life and purpose. It's like a best friend for me, giving me a safe place to share my insecurities and fears, as well as my hopes and dreams. It listens without judgement.

11/20 prompts from Hot Lips Pizza Writing Workshop:

5 minute free write (but I was really late!)
Autumn brings me....

Autumn On My Mind
by Shauna Berglund Immel

Apple cider.
Football.
Falling Leaves.
Pumpkin flavored pastries.
Back to school.
Soccer sidelines.
Joy.

10 min. write
I love the way...

I Love the Way That Feels
by Shauna Berglund Immel

To wake up each morning and realize
that I have been given another day to live.
Another gift to open and unwrap.
I love the way that feels.

To feel alive and present.
To experience the beauty and adventure of life
as it unfolds throughout the day.
To get as much living in a day as I can
and to know that is one more day shared with those I love.
I love the way that feels.

To awake, nestled in the safe haven of your arms.
To breath in the intoxicating scent of your being.
To know that I have another day with you.
I love the way that feels.

To hear my childrens voices float into my room,
as they awake, eager to discover what their day brings.
To wrap my arms around them and drink in their innocence.
Afraid to let go too soon,
for fear that I will not get another chance soon enough.
To feel their arms encircle me tighter.
I love that way that feels.

To move about my house,
and revisit my belongings that make it a home.
Treasuring memories.
To feel the warmth of my dog at my feet,
as he follows me room to room through my house and my day,
never tiring of my company.
I love the way that feels.

10 minute write
Using an object (a tea bag)

Company of a Good Friend
by Shauna Berglund Immel

The smell of cinnamon weaves it's way through the chilly air to my nose.
Beckoning me with it's sweet scent.
Like perfume.
Promising me warmth and comfort.
I long to sit in it's company,
embracing it's warmth like a good friend.

6 minute write
I remember....

Before Darkness
by Shauna Berglund Immel

I remember what it was like before. The freedom. The innocence of life. The security. Small worries that seemed enormous and life shattering at the time. I remember being able to lay down at night and sleeping before fear crawled into bed with me and laid down for the night. I remember the light and how it felt as it warmed my skin with it's hope and promise. Before darkness creeped in and spread like a disease through our lives, destroying everything in it's path. Leaving us raw and exposed. Clinging to all that we had left. But ourselves.

11/21 Writings from our Quest group meeting on it's own

1. I am thankful for...
2. A favorite food, best meal you ever ate, something you love to cook

A Gift to Open
by Shauna Berglund Immel

I am thankful for each day that I am given. Like a gift to open on Christmas morning. The anticipation of what it to unfold. Will I like it? Will it be the best gift ever? My most favorite one yet?

I find my expectations high. What if today if my last day? Will it be good enough? Will it live up to those expectations? Will I be disappointed with the gift I was given? Will I sit down at the end of the day and look back on my day with regret? Wishing for something else?

Or will I be grateful for the gift itself and cherish it for what it is. A gift.

Another moment. Another day. Another memory.

1. Crushes
2. Describe an obnoxious kid you once knew or someone scary or strange.

The Dark Presence
by Shauna Berglund Immel

He is here.
I can feel his dark presence.
Lurking in the shadows.
Waiting for the just the right moment.

He has come for me.
He sits and waits for me.
Night after night after night.
Faceless.
Hidden.

I can smell the stench of his breath
as it hits the back of my neck
and creeps down my spine,
polluting the innocence of my youth
and the woman I once was.

1. On the Road
2. When I Look in the Mirror

The Eyes of the Soul
by Shauna Berglund Immel

Who is that woman?
The one in the reflection looking back at me?
I don't recognize her.
The person I have become.

I know it's me inside the tattered body.
I can see me in the depths of her eyes.
The eyes of the soul.

She stares blankly back at me.
She looks so scared and alone.
Old beyond her 40 something years.
Ravaged by cancer, surgery, chemotherapy
and unimaginable emotional trauma.

She. I. We.

Are but damaged goods.

Thanks for reading my dark, twisted, warped thoughts.

xoxoxo
Shauna

4 comments:

Paris said...

You are so brave to share your writing... it is so personal, so raw. We are all so fortunate to be able to read what you write, and to share in your emotions. It breaks my heart that you have to experience such pain and sadness. I am so relieved that you can purge so much through your writing, and that writing has become such a powerful force in your life. I hope you will be able to continue to be a part of these writing groups. Shauna the writer is a force to be reckoned with :) So proud of you. Love you, p

JO said...

First of all, when you look in the mirror, you are seeing a beautiful women who is loved by so many. I think you are looking fantastic these days. I love your hair and you look healthy. With your nice long chemo break, you are going to start feeling more like your old self.

You are such an awesome writer. I hope someday that all your writings will be published. And I will get to say, "I know this gal!"

Hope to see you on Wednesday.

Love ya, JO

Sande Krieger said...

These are beautiful.
So real. So honest. So valuable.
Thank you for sharing such a personal part of yourself.
And for touching me by sharing them.
I cried.
It really made me think.
Thank you.

Heather said...

Shauna, your writing is beautiful - so meaningful. Thank you for sharing it with us. It certainly makes me stop and think and reflect. Keep it coming.
Heather