Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Hat Power

My supercancerhero-in-training is developing into a force to be reckoned with. As each day passes, with the love and support of her friends, family and community, her powers grow stronger and she's learning how to control them. She's traded in her cape and upgraded to a hat. Afterall, supercancerwoman needs to keep her big, fat, red, smooth, shiney, bald head warm as she soars through the atmosphere at warp speed, looking for rogue cancer cells to fight. You never know what the weather will be like with global warming taking over and all. A cape wouldn't keep her head dry with the polar ice caps melting around her. Besides, a hat protects her from the damaging rays of the sun. The last thing this supercancerhero-in-training needs is a sunburn that may lead to skin cancer later on. She always protects herself with a strong SPF beforing going off to save the world. (to be continued....)

It's 3:39am and I can't sleep. So many thoughts and feelings are running through my head and heart. I had to come write some of them down before my chemo brain forgets. I don't know what happened, but this last round of chemo has stimulated my creativity in terms of writing. I am so inspired. I know I have my friends and family to thank for it tonight. My mom and dear friend Paris threw a Hat Shower for me. You see, 14 days from the first infusion of Carbo-Taxol, cancer/chemo patients begin to lose their hair in big huge clumps. Pretty much to the day. So come Monday, I should be completely bald. I'm not sure if I buy that yet, but I do have to prepare for it in case that it does really happen. With this chemo drug, it's pretty darn certain from what I've heard. Just one time and it's gone. There's no turning back now. And with my mis-adventures in wig shopping, hats are going to become my #1 basic fashion staple.

Tonight was so special. All of those women, including my daughter and my mom, gathered in Paris' beautiful, festive, warm and loving home, celebrating me. The cancer patient. There are no words big or beautiful enough to describe what I felt and experienced tonight. All of these beautiful, amazing, special, unique, talented women that i enjoy, admire, respect and love together in one room. It was powerful. There was tea and holiday treats flowing. Candles burning. And conversation buzzing. Hugs, laughter and joy filled the air. I was at peace. Happy and content. I look around the room and see what cancer has brought me. It has brought me closer to my family, my friends, my community and myself. It has built bridges and strengthened bonds. It has given me a superpower that not many people have. "To Live Like They Were Dying." To really "see" what is important. What really matters. How special and good people are. How they have the capacity to give and love unconditionally. To cherish every moment. To make each day count. You always hear people say those words to you and you think you know what they mean and you vow to do it. But you really don't know until you're looking death in the face.

I hope that people will learn from my experience and they won't wait until that moment to really get around to doing it. Making each day count. Living like you were dying. No one knows how much time they have. Accidents happen. Accidents are just that, unplanned. They aren't scheduled and you won't see them on the calendar. You always think that it won't be you. But I'm here to tell you, that you just never know. Make the most of your time. Embrace your life. Do what you love. Love what you do. Make those connections. Deepen them. Take time for the good things in life NOW because who knows if tomorrow will come for any of us. My supercancerhero-in-training is developing this strength herself. It's something she's had to really work on to control. She has had the advantage of having "an appointment with death", as my friend Fern in my Stage 4 Metastatic Cancer Support Group says. What a powerful strength to have. To live in the moment. To live like there's no tomorrow. To embrace life. To take the opportunities and chances. To let the people you care about know exactly how you feel every single day. To not waste a single day. Time is so valuable. You can't buy it. It's in high demand. Everyone wants it. How do you want to spend the time you have? and with who?

Ok, reeling in my scattered chemo brain here. That is one of supercancerhero's weaknesses. Chemo brain. LOL

What fun to open all of the beautifully wrapped gifts and find fun, unique, different hats in each! And what fun to try them on and listen to the responses from the crowd. One hat even drew cheers and clapping! (I will save that story for when I post the photo of me in the hat) I loved every single one of them. I loved the amazing stories that came with them too. I will treasure each and every single one of them (i need to go count them!)

Paris' daughter Natalie was the paparazzi and took photos of me in each of my hats with each of my friends. My friends came from all over the city, and even the world. My friend Nic was there from New Zealand. Making a grand, show-stopping, tear-jerking entrance as only a "spongeykitty" can. (thanks for the generous gift, My Mind's Eye Cheerleader Friend and hug via Paris!)

And finally, to top off the already perfect evening, a beautiful, little hat box was passed to me, inside of which was full of donations collected from everyone near and far, to go towards a purchase of a wig, real or otherwise!

And so, the adventures of supercancerhero-in-training continue with the changing of the cape and upgrade to a hat.

xxoxoxox shauna

p.s. go to to see all of the photos!


Paris said...

It was one of the most powerful nights of my life... the love from everyone there out-shined the Christmas lights and candles. I could feel the warmth of their caring and love for you. Amazing. I'm so grateful to have been a part of it. Love you, p

Katie Hacker said...

So glad you're surrounded by such a wonderful group of girlfriends!

Thinking superhero thoughts for you :)

Jean said...

What a wonderful time! I'm confused..was Nic there too?

Shanna said...

What a great time!! I loved reading about it and SO wish I could have been there!

Love and hugs to you, my friend.