Monday, August 18, 2008

Another Star in Heaven

In Loving Memory of Etta Romonofsky 1934 - August 18, 2008
This is a photo of our Women with Metastatic Stage 4 Cancer Support Group. We meet every Wednesday from 11-1230pm. This photo was taken in front of the quilt that our group made to hang in the meeting room at St. Vincent's Hospital. It was taken for an article in a newspaper about our group. Etta is the dear, sweet soul sitting in the wheel chair in the center front. I'm in the pink in the back and the two ladies in the blue on the back right are the moderators. My buddy Jo is standing to the left of me.

We all adored Etta, a strong Jewish woman from New York. She was part of our family. I can't believe she's gone. I'm so mad at myself. I missed group last week, which I never do, and she had come after not being there for awhile. I was feeling sorry for myself and just didn't feel up to going. I also have been meaning to send her a card and to go visit her at the new hospice place she had been moved to. I kept putting it off trying to deal with my insecurities and now it's too late. I was actually afraid to go see her. Afraid to see her so weak and frail. I had this problem with my two grandmothers too when they were in homes and not doing well. I didn't want to remember them like that. I wanted to remember them vibrant and strong and full of life and love. It hurt too much for me to see them suffering and weak. Etta was like another Grandmother to me. I thought of her like that. I have never forgiven myself for being weak and scared and afraid to see my grandmothers in that state. For not being strong enough for them. Or for Etta. I am going to miss her terribly. I can't imagine group without her. I will miss her and will be glad to know she is out of pain and in peace and that she wasn't alone when she died. She was surrounded by her loving family and friends. Goodbye my sweet friend.

I also want to send my love, prayers and support out to the Senior family, who just lost a loved one to cancer as well. My heart is with you and yours.

xoxoxo
Shauna

p.s. Spent 6 hours at Kaiser today visiting with my oncologist, getting blood tests done and infusing with my chemo program. She says she wants me to try and get through 12 rounds of this chemo program total, I just did round 7 today. Sigh. She also wants to do another CT Scan to see if taking out the Oxcilliplatin (the nasty chemo agent that I developed an allergy to and the one that is very aggressive and causes the nasty side effects) is hurting me. That will be Sept. 10th. I won't get my CA125 cancer marker blood tests back for several days. I'll keep you posted.

p.s.s. The boy in my son's class who was involved in that airplane/beach house accident in Gearheart was released from the hospital and is at home now recouping. Our thoughts and prayers are with him as he heals and his family heals. We hope his mother and sister can join him soon.

p.s.s.s This week is so busy with the Portland Timbers soccer camp for Spencer at PGE Park, soccer practice for both kids, dance and gymnastics for Kaelin, martial arts for Spencer, my support group and reading at a Write Around Portland fundraising party of one of the Board Members, and 3 parties for Kaelin to attend!!!!

I did take Spencer school supply shopping on Sunday, having to drag him kicking and screaming to do it! He needed to get a new calculator and they reccommend the TI-84, as it's the one they use in High School (next year!). It was like $150!!! And it looks so complicated! I would never be able to figure it out! It hooks up to the pc and stuff. Thank goodness I don't have to take math!!! Also had to buy him non black soled shoes for PE and a rolling backpack, as he carries his whole cubby/locker around with him! We don't usually go school shopping because my kids aren't shoppers and they can wear their summer clothes and shorts til October. We usually just buy stuff as needed. So that's a relief to have the school shopping out of the way already. I'm ahead of the game for once.

I'm such an Olympic junkie right now. A total addict. I haven't been reading cuz I've been watching the Olympics and I haven't been sleeping either! Been staying up all night watching. I can't get enough. I can't tear myself away. I can't believe how fast that Bolt guy from Jaimaica waas!!!! OMG! Blew me away. I was loving swimming and now I am loving the track and field and beach volleyball.

Hope you all have a good week full of peace and love. Remember to live each day like it's your last. Don't put things or people off. You never know, they might not be there tomorrow. Tell people how you feel now, while you can. Don't wait. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Live life to the fullest. Like there is no tomorrow. No regrets.

4 comments:

Paris said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Etta... just too many losses right now for you. Not fair at all. Please do not beat yourself up about not seeing her. You have so much on your plate and have your own things to deal with. I really don't know how you do all that you do... not to mention having cancer and chemo thrown into the mix. You are my hero, and I know that you are a hero to so many other people. You are an inspiration to us all. I hope you are feeling better... missed you last night. I will look forward to seeing you soon, my friend. And keep watching those Olympics... aren't they just the best??!! Love it. Please LMK if there is anything I can do for you and yours. Huge hugs and love to you, p

JO said...

Shauna: I will be coping you and putting our support group picture and writing about Etta in my blog. Just haven't had the time yet. Don't feel bad about not seeing her recently. You were always so kind to her at our meetings and I know you meant a lot to her. I will see you tomorrow. Glad your chemo treatment is over. Enjoy those Olympics!

Love ya, JO

Raelyn said...

You have had a tough week. I too lost a friend to cancer this past week. I just want to say that this disease totally sucks! I am on my way to infusion today (after my "stat" blood draw because I had clumpy platelets yesterday). Stop by and say Hello when you get Fillup disconnected if you have a chance.

laura said...

(((hugs))) - thanks for being such an inspiration, shauna. i'm so sorry about your friends. i'm glad that the olympics are providing some distraction for you. i have been really enjoying them, too. love you!