Another Angel in Heaven

Laura Rachel Allan

I met Laura in Reno while we were there for alternative therapy. We spent every day infusing together for 3 weeks. I'll never forget seeing her on the first day. She looked like she wasn't going to make it through the day. It was amazing to see her each day and see the life come back into her. By the end of our trip, as you can see from the photos, she became stronger, healthier and more alive. She regained color and vitality. She brought tears to my eyes when she'd sit there and play her guitar and sing songs to us as we were all infusing for 3 hours at a time together. She sang like an angel. It was so amazing that such a strong voice came out of such a small, weak person. It gave me so much hope and filled me with strength. It was so fun when she came in with her new wigs.

She was so happy and upbeat and relaxed and low key. She was very mellow, just like you'd imagine a musician to be.

Several days ago, my friend Shanna who visited me in Reno, asked me about Laura and if I'd heard from her. I told her I had sent her a Christmas card, but hadn't heard back from her. I told her I needed to email her or something. Shanna then went and googled her and a couple of days ago informed me that she had passed in May, after a 6 month battle with Uterine cancer. Here are a few links associated with Laura and her music and life. She had a very successful music career and wrote songs for and played with some big names in the industry. Her mother, who died in a tragic car accident in 2006, was a revered professor at Cal Berkeley.

http://jennselke.blogspot.com/2008/05/passing-of-laura-allan.html

http://waxidermy.com/2006/07/14/laura-allan-reflections/

http://forums.tvland.com/tvln/blog/article?message.uid=417948

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/06/08/MNALLANLAU1.DTL

This has hit me pretty hard. This disease is so unpredictable and stealth and one week the patients are fine and the next week, they're gone. I've seen this happen with the ladies in my support group time and time again. It breaks my heart. And it scares the daylights out of me. I'm tired of losing people to this nasty disease. I don't want to be lost either. It's so hard to watch without thinking of yourself and wondering when your time will come. If you'll know. If you'll be ready to let go. Why did she live only 6 months after diagnosis? Why am I still here 2 years later after mine? How long do I really have? It just stirs up so much emotional stuff. Which never goes away. It's always there. Lurking. The doubt. The fear. The pain. It sucks ya know?

Anyways, I didn't mean for this post to be a woe is me, but more of a tribute to my dear friend Laura who I just learned passed in May. I love the inscription she wrote on her CD she gave me while in Reno. It reads "for my Shauna...my wig buddy and IV drip line Bag Bud. I love you all at once and feel so close to you." She autographed it and wrote the date, 02-08-08. That was one day before we left to fly home. She made my Reno experience so special and magical and soulful.

Here's a song she sang us while we were there, titled "I'm in Good Shape" (for the shape I'm in).
I will miss her presence in this world and want to thank her for walking in this world with me. She was a warrior and she never gave up fighting. Goodbye my friend. I'll see you again someday and can't wait to sit at your feet and listen to you sing...

xoxox
Shauna