Photo is from the Relay for Life 2007 I participated in.
I'm so sick of chemo. I know you are getting tired of hearing me moan and groan about it. This happens about oh, once every two weeks, when it's time to do chemo again. This was round 9 of 12 and when I mentioned that to my oncologist, she mentioned that we probably don't want to do what we did before after I finished my 11/12 rounds (my naropathy got so bad I couldn't go all 12) of the same chemo in 06-07. When we stopped the nasty stuff and just continued with the avastin, which keeps the blood vessels from forming. It was such a nice break then. It was less often and for shorter periods of time. No nasty side effects. No pump to bring home. I almost felt normal. ALMOST. But it didn't last long and the cancer came back with avengence. So they tried other chemos and those didn't work so they went back to the orignal cocktail, the Folfox. That's what I've been doing every other week. Anyways, the doctor said we didn't want to do avastin only again, because that didn't prove effective before. She mentioned trying other chemos instead. Hello??? I thought when we reached 12 rounds I'd get a break. Not just a break from the folfox, but a break break. Now it sounds like we'll just move onto something else. With different side effects. It's because my CT scans are only "stable" and not resolving themselves I suppose. I just am not sure I can keep on keeping on doing this chemo song and dance like I have been. I am tired, mentally and physically. It's really starting to take it's toll. It's getting harder and harder each round. I'm getting tireder and tireder each round. And I can't get any sort of routine going because every other week it's interrupted with freaking chemo!!! I'm soooo sick of it all!!!! Please just make it go away!!!! Wish it was that simple. I really do. Ok, so enough moaning and groaning.
I slept solid from 2am last night until 1230pm today! Dave took over all of the responsibilities and just let me sleep. Which I so needed and was so grateful for. Sometimes I wish I could just sleep through the whole 46 hours that I have this stupid pump for. I'll be glad to get rid of him tomorrow at 11. See ya!!! Bu-bye!!! Don't let the door hit you in the @$$ on the way out. (sorry if I offended anyone with that).
A little catch up from the weekend:
Saturday Kaelin's team won their game.
Spencer's team won one game and lost one.
They both had team pictures on Saturday.
Sunday we went to a 4th grade swim party.
Tuesday Spencer's 8th Grade Catlin Gabel team won their game.
I'm excited that my girlfriends from Arizona, California, Utah and Indiana are flying in over the next few days! I'm a tired, busy mom, but I'm going to try and fire up to enjoy our time together. Thursday night is back to school night sans kids, from 6-9pm. Spencer has a soccer game before hand at 415pm. Kaelin has gym 6-9pm, so that covers babysitting! Friday Spencer has another game and Saturday we have 3 soccer games and Sunday night is "So You Think You Can Dance" tour! So excited for the whole weekend! Living a lot of life this weekend! Bring it on!!!
I hope you all live your lives to the fullest this weekend too!
p.s. So embarrassed by my UCLA Bruins loss to BYU 0-59 last weekend!!!! Please dont' throw that in my face when you see me Ali!!!!!