Tuesday, September 2, 2008

The Chemo Blues

Had chemo today. :( I can't tell you how sick of it I am. How much I've been dreading it all weekend. I just don't want to do it at all anymore!!! It's so old I tell you. Ugh. But I forced myself to go. To fight the fight. To go to battle. Wage war against those darn cancer cells. Not feeling much like a warrior these days I guess. Tired of being a warrior. I just want to go back to being me. :( The sad part is that this is me now. Me with cancer. Sux 2 B me today. :(

Missed Kaelin's Open House today because of chemo. Missed Spencer's orientation (not that there is much to miss since he's in middle school and wouldn't be caught dead with me). Just missed being in the hustle and bustle. Meeting the teachers. Seeing the kids after summer vacation. How much they've grown. Visiting with the parents and faculty. Taking photos. It was good that Dave got to go. But I always go. I missed it!!! Tomorrow is the official start of school. Can you believe it? Time flew.

Spencer had martial arts and Kaelin had her rhythmic gymnastics. So it's back to the crazy insane training schedules. Dave is at a loss for a basketball gym to do private lessons in right now, so he was available after school to drive, as well as my mom who usually has Monday and Tuesdays off. I'm thankful for that. By the way, if anyone knows of somewhere with gym space that does court rentals, let Dave (dave@daveimmel.com) know! It's going to affect our livelyhood, which is a bad thing if we don't get this problem solved and soon!

I hope you all have a great week. I'll try and find my happy face in my closet before I go out in public again. Wouldn't want to get anyone wet with the raincloud I'm carrying over my head right now. Got the Chemo Blues.

xxoxox
Shauna

p.s. How about them Bruins!!!!!!! Beating #18 Tennessee in OT!

9 comments:

Paris said...

So sorry that you have the chemo blues. Totally stinks. I really wish I could make all this stupid cancer stuff go away. I would if I could. Sorry that you missed the school stuff. Big hugs to you, my dear friend. I hope that Dave finds a court to work from soon. Something bigger and better will happen for him soon. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to cheer you up or help with. I would love another Shauna fix soon :) Let's go play or hang out. Love you, p

ali said...

Big hugs Shauna! I'm so sorry you are having to fight this fight!!!! We are all hear behind you though, cheering you on, praying for you, and just being here to let you vent! In a few weeks I'll be able to give you a hug in person! Woo Hoo! I'm so excited to finally meet you in person!

Angie said...

just wanted to send a hug. hang in there.

Loni said...

It sticks, Shauna. We're here for you.

Consider yourself hugged.

Love you. Loni

Loni said...

So, I'm blonde. I meant to say it STINKS. Anger at the situation and wanting your old self back are completely understandable.

Loni

Laura Nicholas said...

I am so sorry you are having chemo blues. I can't imagine all the emotions that you go through. If only there was a magic wand with a yummy piece of chocolate on the end to make it all go away... Hang in there, my friend! We will need to sneak off to a movie soon.... Movies just help a person feel like you are on an escape.

Laura

JO said...

Oh, Shauna:

Hang in there. You can fight the fight because you are tougher than you think. We're all here for you, giving you strength.

So, kick some chemo butt!

Love ya, JO

Raelyn Hanna said...

I commiserate with you so much. I have had 11 rounds with no end in sight. It sure gets old. My tummy is giving me all kinds of trouble too. I think I can relate to everything you are going though right now. I think about school and all that I am going to miss out on and just the fact that this is an on-going battle. Sure doesn't help with the depression and frustation. What a blessing for counseling and support groups. Hang in there my friend and hopefully I will see you next time around.
R

Anonymous said...

Shauna,

I cannot imagine how dificult it is to keep going back again and again for chemo but I do know that there will be a time soon where you will look back and be so happy that you had the strength and determination to stay with it and see it through. You are amazing Shauna!

Thinking about ya,

Chuck